New on NBC: The Firm - 9/8pm Central Time

here are a few of the fine purchases recently made:

• new video card
• taking back sunday - where you want to be
• jimmy eat world - static prevails
• heat - you know, one of the greatest movies ever!
• plane ticket for my return trip from denver

that's it for now. i'm sure more to follow. so i was checking out the latest law school rankings. kinda sad because all my big picks are going in the wrong direction. BYU from #31 to #34; University of Utah from #40 to #47; CU Boulder from #40 to #50. ouch! on a lighter though, University of Florida went from #45 to #43 and University of Washington from #45 to #34. And Pepperdine finally cracked the list at #99.

not much going down lately. worked on my monday class presentation yesterday at work for a whole 30 minutes. going to see a movie tonight. either i, robot or the village. sad to see the village got so many bad reviews. looks like kim doesn't want to go all out on her car. fine by me. just more money to put into the system for my jeep. can't wait to see miss lyndsie lee's new pad. she should be all moved in i think.

speaking, its just a matter of time before the law firm files for chapter 7. any bets on when this will take place. vegas has 10 to 1 odds it won't last the first month of this coming semester. they also have 3 to 1 that the four of us will sell our rights to NBC and become the next reality show. we sure got the drama for it. well, i think i'm going to sit here at work and listen to my tunes. i won't count on me getting any homework done while i'm here. if you need me, you know where to find me. counting the minutes is what i do best.

it's all over

why do we like to be sad? i feel content right now because i'm sad. i love being in love and i love being sad. there has got to be something wrong with that. it is so not normal. i wish i could be happy, but i'm so content when i'm like this. i just got done with my last episode of Six Feet for a while to come. yes, the ending sucked, but it ended the only way it could; perfect. now i'm here listening to this song, this perfect sad song. its like JEW's Clarity album. sad and amazing. for anyone who cares, Something Corporate - Konstantine. i never want to leave this chair. i want to keep feeling like this.

i feel like i'm being pulled each and every direction. some pull me into adulthood, whatever that means. then some try to keep me at 19 years old. i don't know where i am right now. i want to be 19, and i've considered myself 19 for four years now. but when i look at someone like lyndsie, she seems so young. i know i'm not 19 anymore when i see her and it breaks my heart. what am i then? what is 23? should i be acting more like a parent or responsible? even if i should, what if i don't want to? why do i have to follow someone's time table? what about my time table? am i trying to set the world record for most consecutive questions in one paragraph? its obvious i don't want to grow up, but i'm willing to accept the fact that i'll never be 19 again. i wish that was enough for everyone. that's probably why i love being alone. i can live how i want, no criticism for what i do. how can anyone be happy? i don't understand how anyone my age can just have a happy life. there is so much crap in the world and the drama runs knee deep every step of the way. maybe this is just the way it is and i need to find a better way to just get used to it, become more tolerable. thought of something in a kind of funny/morbid way, but i was thinking that just in case bad crap happens, i could always have a backup plan waiting in the wings, but what is my backup plan to life?

on another subject, i bought a new video card online. i'm sure this one won't work either and i'll be screwed, out another hundred bucks. speaking of handing out my money, feel pretty good today cuz i made a little contribution to our next president. i got flamed by my wife today when i told her i was doing it, and i'm sure i'll get more crap from others, but i know i would have regretted it had i not done it. my weekend of work starts tomorrow. i'm already looking forward to monday.

when i'm in law school, i'm going to go back to marching again. do you know how good i could have been had i kept playing from high school till now? i know this is just some way for me to hold on to something i lost a long time ago, but all i have is the past. i barely have a grip on today, and the future is something that seems i'll never catch up to. its funny because if i do end up doing it, i'll be the only one. everyone will either have graduated school altogether or just got sick of it years prior. i'm sure by then standley lake won't even have a music program. it'll just be me living in my fantasy world. and some of you might be thinking i'm nuts right now, but i guarantee that a good portion of you will be my neighbors in fantasy world. 19 or 23, some of us are having the hardest time growing up.

2 down, 137 to go

Rain Man (1988): dustin hoffman annoyed the crap out of me in this movie, so i guess he did deserve his oscar. tom cruise was believable, however the changes he went through from beginning to end were not. and his character conflicted a ton. one minute he is a clever business man who can work people like magic, the next he's an idiot who can't understand why his brother acts like a retard (could it be because he kind of is?). the music also stank of cheesy yuppie 80's electronica (and this from the same guy who wrote music for gladiator and the last samurai). even though the performances were good, as well as the cinematography, its not worth seeing. i just wasn't feeling it. the movie didn't flow right to me.

Dawn of the Dead (1978): yes, this is the original, which is the sequel to night of the living dead. first, the bad. it is cheesy. half the music is terrible, the other half is wisely done. the acting is not the greatest. there are continuity issues left and right. the story never ends (in fact, the last chapter of the trilogy is day of the dead, although i won't be seeing that because there is no ending to that either). now the good. the blood is about as much as kill bill vol. 1. the special effects are kinda humorous, but really good for its time. it can still be appreciated 25 years later. and this is extremely entertaining. i haven't seen the remake of it (i'll see it in about a month), so i can't compare to that, but as far as a horror movie goes, this is one of the best i've seen. see it.

my konstantine

this pompous jerkoff started throwing my computer speakers and something else. i can't really remember. think it might have been my cell phone. i start shaking, knowing that physical confrontation is going to be inevitable. its the feeling i used to get when my step dad would always get right in my face to tell me if i'm such a man, we could go to the garage and i could prove it. i always backed down. this time i didn't. with ryan's help, we beat the crap out of him. kim called the cops. tom just sat in the car talking to beth propeck. thanks for the help buddy. afterward, my day began.

yesterday's first hour of the day had so much potential. then it all went to hell. i was alone, writing this, had just got my dance game, then i get a call from my sis saying their car broke down on the way home to colorado. luckily they had only gotten like 5 miles away. so i pick them up, get the car towed, and wait for the answer from the repair shop. looks like its the timing belt. and why wouldn't it be right? i mean, right when you are planning to go home, more than 500 miles away, that's the best time for it to break. so she just left that here to get fixed and took one of our cars. we'll just switch in august when i go back.

but at least i have my dance game...or do i? my video card has always been a piece ever since i put the computer together. for example, sometimes i can't play new games that i buy for it. pretty cool for like a $250 video card huh? well, when you mess with my dance game, you cross the line. so after i buy a new one today, i will destroy that piece of shit to a million pieces. and all those lovely ATI canadian tech support faggots can go to hell (nothing against canadia, i'm sure its quite pretty during this time of year).

as always though, did have a fun time with the study group. as always though, didn't get much done either. however we did plan a lot of things if that counts for something. and the night was capped off by a little six feet. today will be the season finale of season 2. i am soooo freaking excited to see it! i'm going to be lost without anymore episodes. season 3 probably won't come out on dvd for months, if not another year. i could buy 1 and 2 on dvd, but kim isn't letting me. we'll see about that. i have gotten a few good recommendations for other shows to occupy my time. ryan said 24 is worth seeing, and i know its already got matt's grade A approval. and some lady at work said to start working on the sopranos. this has got my brother's, patti's, and the rest of the U.S.'s approval. we'll see. gotta find something that kim will watch too. don't think either is her cup o' tea.

this is getting long, but i don't care right now. if you are concerned that its too long, then go away. there isn't enough free space for all these negative thoughts for the both of us. colorado is looking better and better for august, however kim still needs a bit of convincing. to know why, lets first lay out the tentative plans:

• i drive my mom's car, she drives her car
• meet in glenwood springs
• stay 2 nights at an undisclosed location, to be possibly revealed at another date
• she drives back to utah, i continue on
• stay in colorado for a few days/week
• fly back

i'm all for her coming with me, but it might be just too hard for her to get the time off. i on the other hand am working like maddddd these next couple of weeks, so i swear they better give me the time off. i do so much for those people. anyways, kim just doesn't like me being alone in colorado. she wasn't too fond of tom's roommates, and just this and that and blah blah blah. i told her that his roommates are now down to 1, and he was the loser of the 3 roommates. (just kidding curtis. would i bite your ass if i didn't like you?) so yeah, i keep telling her i'm gonna be fine and there won't be anymore hit and runs, but i can see what she is saying. but we all know ethan is a good boy. i'm a freakin angel. =)

okay. now i'm getting annoyed this is so long. i got a few more issues i'd like to bring up, but another time i suppose. until then...

This is to a girl who got into my head
With all the pretty things she did
Hey
You know
You keep me up in bed

by the way, i couldn't sleep last night

and then there was one

i am alone now for what feels like the first time in weeks. mom and sis just left to head back to colorado. kim's at work. the law firm has lives....MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP!!!!! THIS IS NOT A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM. THE BROADCASTERS OF YOUR AREA IN VOLUNTARY COOPERATION WITH THE FEDERAL, STATE AND LOCAL AUTHORITIES HAVE DEVELOPED THIS SYSTEM TO KEEP YOU INFORMED IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY. SINCE THIS IS AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY, THE ATTENTION SIGNAL YOU HAVE JUST HEARD WILL BE FOLLOWED BY OFFICIAL INFORMATION, NEWS, OR INSTRUCTIONS. AT 11:00 AM, ON WEDNESDAY JULY 28, 2004, IN PROVO, UTAH, E-PROPA RECEIVED HIS PUMP IT UP DANCE GAME FROM THE UNITED POSTAL SERVICE!! STAY TUNED FOR FUTHER INFORMATION AS IS MADE AVAILABLE...yikes! gotta run. no time to explain. crap man, didn't even get a chance to open my game up.

lets talk openness; why i am and why i'm not.

i hate midterms where its nothing but writing pages of BS. that's what i did for 2 hours yesterday. combined with the hours of studying beforehand makes for a sore hand. but i think we all did pretty decent. combine our grade there and our extra credit on pretty much anything, i don't feel too bad going into the final. and points for carolyn for not bringing enough copies of the exam or a freaking stapler. and the hiccup girl has got to go!

i feel bad for my sister. all she does is kinda hang around at home and watch tv. granted, there is nothing to do in utah anyways, but still. she must be bored out of her mind. glad she didn't have to waste money on a plane ticket.

ryan said i should see spiderman 2, but for those who aren't aware, let me elaborate on the matter. the distributors of spiderman (sony) are little bitches. two years ago when the first one came out, they decided to open the movie a week before attack of the clones. they freaking stole the spotlight of one of the greatest sagas in movie history, which would account for why attack of the clones only made the 11th on the all time grossing list, and spiderman made 5th. i would have liked to have seen them do that, had star wars come out a week before them. little bastards! movies should work together (for the most part) to benefit each other. did you ever see LOTR or harry potter come out on top of one other? of course not. each wanted their own time in the spotlight. but not those greedy whores at sony. so i say, screw spiderman. i'll have no part in helping them make their studio execs any richer. i won't even see it at the dollar theater because that still adds to their final total. maybe i'll rent it, most likely i won't. and yes, this sounds absurd, but come on now, you all know me. i'm a man of principle. sorry rye.

speaking of movies, if anyone has seen Napoleon Dynamite, tell me how it is. i can see it being really funny, or really a waste of my time. my dance game comes tomorrow!!! my mom comes today. i'm watching rainman on my comp at home. yellowcard - finish line is my fav song this week. i'm eating a heath bar. and Six Feet Under is the greatest show known to man. down to the last two episodes of the season 2. and i think i'm strangely in love with claire.

unavailable to you, not even in your wildest dreams. that's why you don't have trouble being honest with me, there's nothing at stake.

microprint 

i keep thinking its gonna get easier, but it just doesn't. it just gets more familiar.

freaking amazing! had another 3 hour Six Feet marathon last night and i had the privilege of seeing the greatest episode of any television show i've ever seen! second season, episode 8 - It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!! it was absolute perfection. i can't even describe how good it was. the flash backs, the cross cutting, the freaking amazing storyline, and angles, and soooo much happened in it. felt like i was watching a season/series finale. the moral of this story is to go rent seasons 1 and 2 of Six Feet Under if you have never seen it. then when you get to episode 8 of season 2, you can thank me then for sharing my great wisdom with the world.

yesterday was very productive in my book. drove around an hour looking for best buy up north to buy a brand spankin new microwave that can rock with the best of them. realized this is the first time i think i've ever really purchased a new one. always got hand-me-downs i think. then we picked up a fatty HP printer/scanner/copier. i can't even tell you how pimp it is. had to replace the last one because jonas chewed up an irreplaceable ribbon inside of it. as soon as i can, i'll toss some pics of our new toys on here. we also saw my bose speakers i want for my comp. that will come a little later though. right now we are planning on upgrading the cars soon. fatty rims on some low profiles for kim's new car, and new fosgates in my jeep. can't wait!

speaking of, kim learned to drive a stick shift yesterday. she actually did very well. very proud of her, even though she was a little impatient at times. but it will come. so for everyone who gets stuck behind a black honda that can't make it through the green light, be a little patient. its my wife learning how to drive all over again.

my back still hurts like a biotch, but i'm too scared to see a chiropractor. not that s/he is going to hurt the begeezus out of me, but i would just be nervous. i have to do something though. its getting worse each day and its been going on for a week now. if it gets any worse, its going to start impacting my dance routines, and you know we can't have that!

my cousin bobo 

as my pimpin skillz fade, my dvd collection grows

yesterday was not worth the post. except i did get Citizen Kane on dvd. can't wait to see it a few more times! we finally picked up our new car. turns out its not a 97 like i thought, but a 96. hey whatever, still pretty tight. i'll be playing driving instructor today. also getting a new microwave and printer hopefully later this afternoon. the above pic is of some monkey in israel that was dying of some kind of cancer i think. they gave it some crazy surgery to keep it alive and ever since its been bipedal and never uses all four legs to get around now. just makes you think a bit right? i've always been a 100% believer in evolution and now i think i'm like 102% now. i'm not going to get into it too much, but its quite the thing to ponder on for a while. man, i'm trying to think of more to write, but i got nothing. just waiting for the slow girls to get there gears rollin so we can head out. despite my optimism, the next two and a half weeks are going to blow. the short rip off time the school gives us off after this summer is going to be so well needed for the law firm. it'll be weird during that time because lets be honest, we probably won't see each other during it. and when school starts up since we have like 1 class together, things just won't be the same. so i think i'm going try and make each day the greatest ever with those guys. pretend like this summer will be the last. to be honest, next to '01 this has been the most fun summer i've ever had. well, i'm getting tired of waiting for them now. usually when the huslin husla e-propa calls, the ladies come a running. maybe i'm losing my skillz cuz it ain't workin this time....=w=

friendship is rare. my derriere, when you find out much later that they really dont care

High Noon (1952): extremely well done. probably the first film that is done in real time. only see it if you are way into movies, and have an open mind of what you're willing to watch. truly suspenseful to the end, gary cooper freaking delivers like nobody's business! however, since everyone except him is freaking horrible, i would have much liked it if he had killed the bad guys, then the whole town at the end. its one of those movies where you really hate everyone. kinda like life

so today sucked. work sucked. didn't get done half of what i wanted to. afterwards wasn't too bad. had lunch with mike and danced at the mall for about 10 minutes. then met up at L's house to study. course that didn't happen. luckily we didn't need it though because we didn't end up having the quiz. just kinda sat around and talked. not sure what happened though. just being over there and listening to L, and thinking about J getting a job and what's gonna happen to her school schedule and the law firm just kinda bummed me out. then class sucked. then leaving sucked. everything really sucked. my alone time at jamba juice wasn't so bad though. but even then i only had 1 person to call, and they were too busy for me also. my alone time at home was nice. got to watch my movie. but then the girls come home and before i know it we are all yelling at each other for who knows what. well, i do know what, but i'll spare the gay details. so now i'm tired and i just want to sleep. not here though. i want to sleep alone to the quiet. have my own bed in my own room. just for tonight though. i can tell this weekend is gonna be really great. i mean, great as in jessica simpson is a great singer. or great like michael jackson would be a great godfather to my first born son. why is it that the days i wear brand new cool shirts and try and look good for once in my life, that the day turns out like this? maybe i should go back to just wearing all my =w= shirts from like 3 years ago. old worn out clothes = good days? nice clean expensive clothes = me whining on the internet. oh well. its never any use.

as for the title of today's happy post, its from Tenacious D and its called Friendship. not sure why, but the line seemed fitting today. don't ask why, its just how i felt as i left school.

my dream supra 

a first for everything 

random rambling froms da pimpin peach

my computer room is being slightly occupied by my sis, so won't be able to write each night when i want to. i bought a pimpin new volcom shirt. its peach! my first peach shirt. but its rad. wearing it right now as a matter of fact. my back is still hurting from lord knows what. when i sleep on my back and right side, all is good in the morning. on my stomach or left side, i feel like going on a rampage because my back hurts so bad. i need to check out a chiropractor, but i'm too damn lazy. speaking of being lazy, if anyone has noticed (most likely not), i haven't been watching movies lately. reason being is i've been busy watching every episode of michael moore's the awful truth. little show that ran 2 seasons a few years back. if anyone has an extra 50 or 60 bones layin around, i suggest you go buy this show on dvd. i found it at media play, but i'm sure you can get it online. the funniest, most provocative show you'll ever see! for those who have been missing my movie reviews (which is probably me alone), never fear. a return shall they make to this here site of sites.

hey everyone, jessie got a job! still unsure of why she quit her original job at the bookstore in the first place, but she's working at Convergy's. for those not hip to the Utah County scene, she is now the newest worker at the only job in town. so all you American Express holders out there, you better start using your card, or you just might get a call from jessie kaye! and sorry guys, that won't turn out to a good thing because the lady is already taken. my recommendations:

1. never answer the phone ever, unless you know who they are and really want to talk with them
2. jessie, you can do so much freaking better than this. work there if you must, but try and keep your eye open for anything else (but not a bagger at a grocery store)

took my sis on her first drive yesterday. she actually did very well and got amazing by the end. she does need to learn to drive a 5 speed however. both her and kim do now that we bought that civic. guess what i get to do this saturday with them???

last night had a little Six Feet marathon. i can't even begin to tell you how good this show is. except its not good when the dumb retard coworker sits and tell me everything that happens in every season i haven't seen. dumb ho is starting to piss me off by doing that. gotta run. i can't even tell you how busy i am going to be at work today. lets see, homework, figuring out the schedules of the law firm for the next 6 years, and jess's criminal law hw. i tell you what, i get no respect. i used to do other peep's homework in elementary and middle school so they would protect me from getting made fun of and beat up. now i just do it just because i guess. things sure have changed since i was a kid.

secrets don't make friends...

i wasn't going to post tonight. i'm really tired for some reason. was just going to sleep a long sleep. but then read ryan's entry tonight, and i got a big smile on my face. being content, shouldn't that be everyone's goal in life? i sure would like it. i love being happy for others, and i've never been happier for him. its funny because i'm actually speechless. i really don't know what to say. i don't think my night could get any better, than seeing a friend as happy as he. and yeah, i've felt that way a few times here and there. those connections we have are a rare thing, but when it happens, well, i guess there aren't words to even describe it. these feelings sadly do not last forever, however i think because they become the highlights of our lives, they are worth all the pain in the end when we lose hold of it. basically what i'm saying is, love makes life worth living. its the only thing.

i feel like nothing else i write from this point on tonight will even be worth the time after the above paragraph. however, i do gotta give a shout out to our girl Lyndsie Lee!! she's a freaking star in the class and got the highest grade on the exam! props to her, the hardest working partner of the law firm. my sis is here now. her and kim are watching Maid in Manhattan, which is why i'm in here of course (and also why i want to go to bed). gonna teach her how to drive tomorrow. should be interesting. i just want to say that i still don't write everything i want to in here, and i apologize for that. i don't suppose i ever will be the open book i hoped to become. if i were to really open up, my world would shatter. i feel like i am cheating everyone out though when i write on here, but i know its for the best. i've lost one too many friends in the past, i'd never leave the house if i lost anymore. so i'm sorry for being secretive, but that's just the way its gotta be.

well, girls are going to bed now, so i must as well. good night and sweet dreams to all. tomorrow is another day to find whatever it is we are looking for. i'd tell you what that is for me, but then i'd have to kill you.

if my life were a movie, i'd fall asleep or i'd walk out

yesterday had some interesting ups and some really interesting downs.
 
UPs: got to talk with my bro for a while on the phone; got a very, very nice compliment from a classmate, although they probably didn't even realize it; started watching Six Feet Under season 2; talked to my mom who is coming out today to drop off my sis for a week; and had a jones.
 
DOWNs: got a very, very nice compliment from a classmate, although they probably didn't even realize it; cried like a baby at the end of the second episode of Six Feet; woke up with the worst back pain imaginable; realized how disgusting i look; had to freaking deep clean the house last night because "its polite"; had an interesting convo with mike, and am still trying to figure out what i did wrong; and read an interesting post from matt, and am still trying to figure out what went wrong.
 
so i wake up this morning and guess what? you know that 20 pounds i would loooove to just go away??? well its still there. and you know my favoritist black jacket that i've had for years and that i can't find??? well its still gone. then my back still hurts, won't be able to do the 2 o'clock study group because my mom is coming at that time. probably won't be doing the 4:30 study group because i'm sure mike has cancelled it. and probably won't want to go to class tonight. and let me tell you how hungry i am right now. how do people just forget to have dinner? why thank you for asking, because i did last night. i can't even imagine coming home and not eating anything, but as hard as i try, i can't recall ever snagging a bite, except for the jones i had from the store at about midnight. and of course i got no time before work today to do eat. hence we have come full circle to the fact that i am hungry. so, i'd say, all in all, yesterday and the beginning of today have been crap.
 
whatever. the rest of the day i hope goes okay. i mean, it will be really good to see my mom. i get to work on hers and my bro's computer, so that will be fun. i might still get to study later today with the firm, but i won't hold my breath. and sometime maybe i'll eat something. food is good. food is too good. although i must say, i really don't eat that much food. curse you high metabolism freaks who can eat for days and still maintain your little figures!! i'm obviously bitter, but this really isn't a complaint considering i'm not pissing and moaning about it while i'm checking you all out (guys excluded. i just hate all of you.). and as far as school goes, i can already tell its gonna suck bad in the next few weeks. presentation, paper, exams. its going to be soooo overwhelming when its all due. oh well. i'll BS it all as usual, then cry about how i'm not going to get a good grade, then by some miracle, i'll get undeserved A's again. just another semester in the land of me.

i am sexy and affectionate. and did i mention i love home decor?

behind 10-19, aka police headquarters, aka my work, is some dude's farm or something. everyday i see this random odd looking blue bird with some really weird head thing going on. he is always there, so i am assuming he lives there. granted, i realize that birds have nests that they live in, but you never think of a bird just living on a farm of some sort (sorry people, but i didn't grow up on a farm). i don't know, it just seems kinda cool to me that it has a domicile (Legl 4150 rules!!). also, as i walked to my jeep after work today, it started to rain pretty hard. as it began to come down, two horses in the field ran together under a tree to stay dry. again, maybe not odd to some, but its fascinating to realize that horses can reason in such a way. they didn't just stumble upon shelter by aimlessly wondering the field in the rain, but they knew to go there because they remembered in the past. its absolutely amazing. the point of the story is, never underestimate our fellow beings of this earth. in fact, most of them are probably smarter than most of us. you don't see them driving around with the parking break on.
 
earlier today i did this quiz that i found on matthew's diary (by the way matt, i'm done reading everything. now freaking update already. its like reading a good book, but without the last chapter). you can find the quiz here. The topic is, "what does your birth month say about you?" what does mine say you ask? well i'm glad you did:
 
MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
 
insanely, they all really apply believe it or not. you may be skeptical about some, but if you think about it, i really can be generous and sympathetic. i bolded the ones that are just scary because of how right on they are. anyways, thought that was quite coincidental, although interesting.
 
so back to the exam from last week. lets just lay it all out. i won't post scores, just letter grades. mike and i equally got an A, whereas jess got a C+. let me tell you why i suck, as a person to study with. i feel like i could have done so much more to help get her a better grade. i feel like it is both mike and my responsibility to make sure all four of us do as good as we can. i feel like i didn't take this exam as serious as i should have. i feel like i have let both the firm and jess down. i feel like i would rather have gotten a worse grade, and she had gotten a better one that i because she knew freaking everything as we quizzed each other. she deserved what i got, and i deserved to be bummed over my grade. now granted, i've heard from numerous peeps that it isn't my responsibility and that sometimes we just have to accept things that have happened. so sorry if i can't do that. this exam was freaking hard and i have no clue how i was able to do so good. the point of all this is: jess is gonna tell me, "blah blah blah, it wasn't your fault, i should have done more, yada yada yada," but i don't care to hear it. i'm sorry we didn't do more to help you out, i didn't deserve the grade i got, we still have lyndsie to take the exam, so hopefully we can help her out as much as we can, and mike, you are lucky i didn't get 1 more point than you. now that i am writing all this, it seems like most would think this isn't that big a deal, but its something i've been thinking about all weekend and feelin pretty bummed about.
 
oh, and p.s., you guys all freaking missed out on the greatest dance party of the century tonight. i'm not sure where it was or who went, but i'm sure it was great!

our muddy retreat 

toasty! 

funky music is tonight!

so, i'm back. as many things that went right on the trip went wrong. first off, spent $120 just in random crap needed at target to go camping. didn't think i'd be spending that much. oh well. got off to a good, early start, and i was happy to see that there was no one at the site i wanted. sandwiches were good. rain was not. rain was very not good. as an attempt to not get all my clothes wet, i'm out there with just shorts on (settle down ladies) while buckets were being poured on me as i get the tent up and cover up anything that i feel needs it (which was pretty much everything i had take out of the car). come to find out, i put up the tent wrong. go me! from then on there is basically an on and off again monsoon, complete with lighting probably striking about a half mile from us. then there are the occasional deer legs scattered around the camp site (clueless and disgusted about these. mike, you kill bambi. you have any ideas why they were there?). and the bugs. we all know how much i loooove bugs flying around me. yesterday afternoon and this morning there were so many damned mosquitoes flying around. now we move on to the campfire. i will never, ever in my freaking life buy a stupid piece of crap lighter again. my thumb is raw from trying to hold down the "safety button" to start it up. but that's funny, doesn't look like it wants to work for me. lets just use matches then. oh wait!! why would i bring matches if i have this incredible lighter i just bought? don't worry ethan, we don't need fire. we were only planning on using fire for the lantern, stove, and campfire. so with the ingenuity of kim, and a little teamwork between myself, the stove, POS lighter, and lots of lighter fluid, we were able to get the campfire roarin like a mofo. before we knew it (about an hour later), we were roastin some smorse! and thankfully, it didn't rain as we did it. and all the meals were great too! between me making sandwiches, and mike's special for breakfast, and kim grillin up the burgers for dinner, i think we did alright. all was topped off by up packing up the muddy everything, through the muddy mess, into a filthy car now, and me, cruisin on a beautiful sunday morning, all the way home with the parking break on. can a camping trip get any better? i think not. we still had a blast, and i'm sure it will be even better next time.
 
my mom and sis are coming out this tuesday. well, really its my mom dropping off my sis for a week, then driving back to CO again. should be fun though. maybe teach her how to drive once she's out here. first thing i'll teach her: check the freaking parking break. oh yeah, i'm having a massive dance party at my pad tonight. all are invited!! its going to be insane. we are gonna have the dance game, and uh, me dancing. and its ladies night tonight!! the first 100 of Provo/Orem/American Fark/and Nephi's finest ladies in the door get free drinks. we got OJ, milk, and i think 1 can left of C2 Coke!!! so yeah, party starts at about 8 and the nonstop megamix will go until about 12, or until i get tired and go to bed. dress to impress biotch!

i mean, come on!!! who wouldn't vote for this man?  

this is who i am, well, sort of 

tupac - thugz mansion - download, listen, read lyrics, live by it

i sometimes feel like i'm not a man yet because i don't get 5 o'clock shadow until usually 2 days have past. this sucks because i want to have that shadow. i actually think most guys look good with it. but it takes 48 freaking hours to get it. and really, i only reap the benefits on the third day because that is when i get to show it off. so by the fourth day i have to shave it, because we all know how great i look with a beard. but by the fourth day, the hair is too freaking long, and gets pulled and twisted through the dull blades of my freaking electric. can't begin to tell you how bad it hurts. and then, after i get home from school, i'll take a look in the mirror again, and go ethan!!! you missed a few spots and you look like some retard who doesn't seem to care about his appearance. in the end, i fail at my attempt to look good and cool, but i get a gold star when it comes to looking like white trash. go me!
 
spent all night packing for the camp trip tomorrow. my freaking jeep is packed to the bone with junk. patti says i won't need it all, i beg to differ. guarantee all shall be used. and looks as though we might buy a honda from our friends. yes folks, we (or kim when she learns to drive a stick!!! and that goes for all of you out there too: matt, karen, tom, ryan. wait, he just doesn't drive very good =) ) are going to become one of the 90% of americans that own a honda civic. not that honda's are bad. they are probably one of the best cars you can buy (counting honda's acura, which i got to say, the new models are the best ever!!!). its just now we are like everyone else. just another car on the road, with no personality. hopefully we'll spruce this one up with some more good ol' fashin bush bashin bumper stickers!!
 
for all my peeps in colorado (which seems to be about three these days: r, t, & k), its looking more and more like i'll be heading out there in august. my prior plans of SF just aren't looking promising. thanks to dtpb for the pic above. i'm paying her a good 60 cents an hour to make them, so more to follow. anyways, i'm gonna be camping tomorrow night, so no update then. during that time you would normally take to read, just think of a good thought. something that truly makes you happy. whether it be a girl, guy, alcohol, song, a stuffed monkey, whatever. just picture it, and be thankful you have it. i'll go first..umm....there, i did it. now you must. for every person who does not do it, i will kill you! muahahahaha!! bye friends.

i hope you read this jack, cuz i need you now more than ever

first and foremost, i gotta give a shout out to my homie martha stewart. congratulations and i'll be seeing you in 5 months biotch! and mad props to lance in france. one more punk to take down before you bring it home again! go us! now all you gotta do is dump nasty sharyl crow then you'll get an A in my book. so yeah, last 24 hours have been insane. got to bed really late last night, which is completely normal i guess you can say. but since i had to be at work today at 1, i was so hoping to get up early to get some stuff done, or at least to relax and play the dance game. but nope. wake up right at noon, with just enough time for me to get ready and leave. do i even have to tell you how pissed i was? i just want to say, that i appreciate all those who read this every now and then. its a weird thing that people are actually interested in my boring whacked out life. i mean, i sit and read matt's (i'm up to january 2004 finally), and he's got such the busy life doing so much. me? you won't find me living the life. i play the dance game.
 
speaking of matt, a friend and i are now reading the diary together. this person is a little farther behind than i, but its still fun to talk about what we read. its like reading some really dang good fiction (however, its sweet to know that its not, and its about a good friend of mine). for anyone who has waaaay too much time on their hands, again its: http://blankwave.diaryland.com/ go to Archive and read about the tragic that is love, the joy that is music, the stress that is dirty roommates, and the drama that is big, nice smelling black guys calling you a faggot on the subway.
 
so, i really want to be honest when i write. i don't want to just BS this diary, just so people will read it and find it interesting. i want to tell my life how it is, with very little secrets, if any at all. so what's coming next may or may not be a shocker to those that know me. yesterday and last night, with a help from a few ladies, i realized that i am depressed. now, i'm not talking, "i'm having such a bad day today," but like i seriously suffer from depression. to some, this sounds ridiculous, but whatever (all you gotta do is look at the majority of my family to see what depression is). i think i'm gonna look into start seeing someone. maybe they can get me on some drugs or snap me out of it. i'm just sick of being sad and mad and bitter every single day of my life. i have such a good life, but i'm never happy. i just want to be happy again. not even sure if i can say "again." this has been going on for so many years. its all that damn Cure i listened to in high school (which has now been replaced by Bright Eyes). i just get sick of living and sick of people and everything in this world. i just want to take some time off from the world. maybe come back when things are a little easier. since that will never happen, i'm forced to see a shrink. too bad the shrink's name won't be jack daniels. anyways, thanks for those that just listen. its probably the only thing that gets me through.

i've failed the firm (more to follow another day)

alright, so does anyone else do this? i walk out the house, and i sometimes wonder if i have my pants on, or am i just wearing my undershirt out, or is my zipper down, or whatever. so i have to look down ever so slightly to make sure, before i get too far into the world where i'm totally screwed if per chance something like that did happen. maybe its just me. anyways, more about this little diary. i'm not sure what to do. for those that might be offended or whatever, the only thing i can say is to please don't read it. i won't be hurt, nor will i care at all. all will be good for me and whoever doesn't want to read it, if they just refrain from doing so. so we had our midterm today for probates and estates. i did extremely well surprisingly. actually, like most my grades, i don't think i deserved what i got. lot of them were just plain lucky guesses, and also consider the fact that i didn't participate much in our study groups or care too much either. i just wanted to play the dance game. i'm not gonna post what i got until all of us in the firm has our grades. and by the way, the exam did suck bad. i could go on about each complaint we had, but it would take up too much. just trust me on this one. the high was a 42/50, low was in the 20's. crap man, i don't even want to talk on here now. i'm sick of getting reamed for what i write. i would just start over a new page and not tell half of you, but i don't want to lose what i already have. whatever. and oh yeah, i'm back at work for the second time today covering some girl because she's go some blood problems going on in places where blood shouldn't be coming out...well, i guess it is supposed to come out there, but not this time. this is bad blood. bad blood coming out of bad place. so she can't be here, and i'm too freaking nice to say no. now i'm gonna have to buy all my camping crap tomorrow night, and that's even if i get to go still. okay, i think i'm done writing. i'm dozing off to sleep. gonna take a nap. doubt the cops that are working tonight will even leave their sqaudroom to do anything. goodnight all.

i hate waking up, unless...

i love leaving the house seeing the streets empty. hell, doesn't even have to be completely empty. just nice seeing road for once instead of bumpers. like tom cruise in vanilla sky, its kinda refreshing (however he was not refreshed, he kinda flipped his lid). and please, someone tell me what is the point of radio anymore? all the same trash, played on 5 different stations. i swear i hope radio becomes obsolete some day. and finally, holy hell do i feel and look fat today. i'm becoming this sick blob that can't even look at himself. but i do figure that the majority of guys become overweight as they get older, i guess i'm just starting a little early. well actually, i think i started back in '81, but who is counting? maybe the dance game will help shed a few hundred pounds here and there. and finally again, can we please find some kind of cure for headaches? now i'm not talking some over priced chalky pills that take effect maybe after 3 doses in a 12 hour period. i want real damn fast acting relief. there has got to be something out there. so if anyone knows any drugs, legal or otherwise that does the job, drop me a line please. and lastly x 3, i have my first real exam later today for my probates class. let me tell you how much i don't care to take it. and oh yeah, if you are from church, and you need to get a hold of me, STOP CALLING, I WILL NOT ANSWER THE PHONE, I WILL NOT RETURN YOUR CALLS, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE BECAUSE I AM BUSY DANCING! on that note, time to get my daily fix the serban http://blankwave.diaryland.com/.

ummm, what do i even say to this? 

such is the sad jedi master 

the places i hate the most, end up being the places i can never leave

so i'm sitting here in my boxers, drenched in sweat. its not a pretty sight, but its the price you gotta pay for being a master at the dance game. however, i must stress that my teacher and master jedi jessie, is still by far better than me overall. and likely, contrary to what she will say, i will always be her little padawan dance guy learner. i may have beat her 1 or 2 times today, but she can rock my socks off any day of the week. anyways, i've really been thinking about this whole online diary, and i'm wondering if its pointless. i mean, it sucks because there are so many things on my mind that i want to talk about, but i could never say because of some of the peeps who might read this. i might cause such a ruckus if certain people knew what i did and especially what i thought. so, i'm sorry mike and jess, but i'm not gonna be able to say everything i want to say. i wish it weren't like that and i just didn't give a crap, but sadly i do (or maybe, thankfully i do). today was a good day though, despite my ranting and raving after class. its just that...ahhhh! see, i can't say things. this whole thing is pointless if i can't say what i want to say. lets just say that some (undeserving if you ask me) are luckier than others. i guess i'm just a jealous fool. on to a new subject because i'm being so incredibly vague right now that i'm just gonna be asked by everyone what i'm talking about (and now that i've said that, everyone who wasn't planning on asking will now ask). so, the more i'm in carolyn's class, the more i think she is a tad attractive. like today. while the rest of the class was teaching as she sat on her ass, er, i mean, butt (sorry jessie), she sat next to me and she wasn't the dogface that i usually see. granted she still has a ghetto booty, but that's okay. might have been my beer goggles though. just kidding folks! well, today's been fun, kim is supportive (as supportive as can be i guess given the circumstances), jessie laughs like a hyena, mike makes a freaking mean breakfast, lyndsie is, uh, umm...lyndsie is hot, patti doesn't seem to like to write me back, matthew is still a freaking star in my book, carolyn is slowing becoming not the most annoying person in the world (awkward phrasing), and as for me, well, i'm still ethan. still confused about everything, always wanting the grass somewhere else. i don't suppose i'll ever change.

but as for me i'm coming to my final failure
i've killed myself with changes trying to make it better
but i still ended up becoming something other than what i had planned to be

mike trying to intimidate his little girl. he's sooo scary!!! 

winters in nyc sound so nice

ok, there is a movie coming out called Before Sunset. the prequel that came out a few years ago is called Before Sunrise. two peeps met in the first movie, 9 years go by without seeing each other, then the second movie they run into each other again, and basically chat it up about what could have been. this my friends, is the story of my life, so i can't wait to see it. i mean, think of the all the different roads i've taken (all of us for that matter). there are infinite possibilities that could be my life right now. the reason i bring all this back up again is because of matt's diary. when i read it, its almost like i'm there and doing it all with him. granted, it was more like "he was a big bro that i idolized, and i was just the little bro falling him around," but what if he and i had gotten closer? ya know, maybe after patti, i just dump it all and head to ny with him? however, then i would wonder about the future and where i was going in life, and i'd probably be writing these exact words in some pad in ny. but you never know. sucks that we don't know if we've made the right decisions or not. you figure, if i had gone, jessie would be sitting at home not doing homework tomorrow, mike would be sitting at home working and not doing homework, and lyndsie would be sleeping until she works (like homework is even an option for that girl). i don't know, i'm just yacking away. no matter what road is taken, things i'm sure will turn out. but at times, some roads seem better than others. as forever and always, oh well. by the way, i'm a retard. guess i didn't get the memo on the lynds. her bro already got married this last weekend. umm, yeah, not really sure why she is going to vegas this coming. maybe reception? hell i don't know. didn't want to say anything cuz i'd look like a total retard in front of her. okay, everyone who can download music, (which should be everyone this day and age) and who isn't scared of the RIAA nazis, needs to download The Starting Line - Classic Jazz. i believe there is only a live version out there, so get it and please, rock out as hard as you can! tomorrow, lets dance, put on your dancing shoes and dance the blues people!!!

i once knew an indie star

shit man, i'm here at work now, and i've got sooo much damn homework to do, but i've been reading my boy's diary online for the past hour. it is so freaking interesting that i'm starting from the beginning (jan 2003), and determined reading everything. i've got so much i want to say about my once close friend matthew in nyc, but for now, lets just say that i miss him more than even i know. now on to Chapter 7: Final Draft and Execution of a Valid Will. you know that turns you on!!

hey, where da party at? girls is on the way, where da bacardi at?

The Notebook (2004): not the tear jerker i was hoping for. kinda flat in the middle. but its a really good story and has an amazing ending. acting is very good, as are the locations, production design, and all that jazz. only see if you absolutely love romantic drama-type movies.

got my dance on today. trying to plan a camping trip this weekend. most likely it will fall through as stuff like that usually does. trying to get it all planned out with the firm for this week cuz we gots a midterm on thursday. so wednesday we're meeting at my place 10:(30), having breakfast, doing the dance game, studying, doing the dance game, eating lunch, doing the dance game, then class at 6. should be a good day, although this does mean me getting up before noon and cleaning the freaking house. getting a little frustrated cuz our lil lyndsie is taking this whole adult responsibility, lets get a job thing, a little too serious. poor girl works about 90 hours this week, has her bro's wedding over the weekend, then comes back next week to work another 80 hours. luckily we get to study with her on thursday (if all goes well) for the midterm. that's bout it. i'm ready for this week to be over with. i'm ready for this summer to end, actually, i want classes to end. i want a summer where i can just hang out with my peeps. i can't even imagine what that would be like. where did my summer vacations go? k, i'm gone. i can't stand carolyn (however i might be up for some extra credit if she offers it), all music from kill bill, GTA3, and Vice City rawks, and today gainesville, fl was a high of 89, low of 72, with isolated thunderstorms. not too shabby i'd say.

want to waste 2 hours of your life?

Chinatown (1974): nicholson is stellar, but the movie just plain sucks. as hard as i tried i couldn't get into it. the story was lame and it just dragged. didn't understand the majority of what was going on, but the thing is, i didn't care. i counted down for the ending to come. don't see it, and forget i even mentioned that i saw this movie.

a superstar but he didn't get far

granted, not everything sucks, but a vast majority of it does. my anonymous friend's life is subjective, as is mine through this person's eyes. i'm not in this person's head during the times when nothing is being said but the thoughts that occupy it. neither are you in mine. we all expect different things out of life because of our upbringings. whatever happened to you during your first couple decades of life was dramatically different than mine. maybe because of how you were brought up, you are perfectly content with your days, however i am not. i'm always looking for more than day in and day out, and i'm amazed when i find it, however rare it is. and by no means am i ungrateful for the things i have. i do have it much better than most, but i guess its just that spark that is missing. anyways, i'm glad your life is so good that a complaint here and there doesn't seem to escape you. sometimes we build up so much bad/sad/negative crap that we will explode because we never let it out. well, i think it helps me to let it out, so if its a crime for me to open up and complain about life, then oh well. if you don't like it, don't read the posts. moving on since that took up the majority of what i'll be writing tonight, i saw fahrenheit 9/11. how do you say, BEST PICTURE AT THE OSCARS?!?!? unbelievable. now, all my conservative friends need to come out and see this movie. didn't even have to drag kim out. she went very willing and i think now she is set on not voting on the village idiot again for re-election. either way, the movie is great. shed many tears and laughed a ton. warning though, lots of info to take in. if you have trouble watching cnn for more than 5 minutes, this is not for you. a must buy when it comes out on dvd. attempted to go dancing today at the mall, but some freak of nature people were there and were dancing like they've been doing it their whole goth, trench coat mafian life. lyndsie asked me a few weeks ago if i cry when i listen to my music. the answer is no, however, yesterday was an exception. i was listening to gladys knight and the pips' song 'midnight train to georgia' and i really got teary-eyed. when is someone gonna sing that song to me? it was so perfect. basically my life in an metaphoric nutshell (not that the nutshell is metaphoric, that's obvious, but the song was metaphoric. was this explanation necessary?) well, i'm gone. remember, the left is right, the right is wrong, and the world is his, his and hers alone (someday).

today's highlight: the fact it will be over soon

such a freaking bad day. getting better though. started with some whore of a driver flipping me off for absolutely no reason. the only thing i can think of was that it was some bitter conservative seeing my bumper sticker, stooping to the only level it seems they can these days. then work sucked. had mad criminal law hw. i'm getting nagging in my ear from all directions. i'm getting sick of church peeps clawin down my back for this and that. i'm just about done with that. i need a vacation. saw The R.M. today. i'm so against these retard mormon movies, but it had its funny moments. the second half of the movie just dragged because they used up all their jokes in the first 30 minutes. obviously don't see if you aren't knowledgeable about this dumb culture, but might barely be worth seeing if you have sadly been a part of the utah gayness. props to jess for being the first to attempt to break the lines into the legal world. she doesn't want anyone to know just in case it doesn't happen, but she's trying to get on with a law firm (a real one unlike ours, ours is more like the mickey mouse club with lots of drama). work again tomorrow. which is actually good cuz i can get lots of school stuff done. the used is playing at my school tomorrow. luckily i dont work during that. met one of jessie's sisters today. can't remember her name since jess was in the office for a whole 15 seconds, but it was nice meeting her. i think we all need to play a little barry white and just dance. think how better off the world would be after that. oh, and by the way if anyone cares, i think my dad just fell of the face of the earth...again. can't seem to get a hold of him. these days and weeks are starting to mean very little. i can list the crap that i have to look forward to just this weekend, but i'll spare you. lets just say, its gonna suck.

no mo hoopty fo t-money

what a long day. work sucked. so busy with arrests and sending people to the hospital and training and homework and bosses. i hate when i actually have to work. then had to roll up to school to drop one class, just to add another. mike and i got rid of the online class that we weren't really doing. but turns out we get to take criminal law again. well, i guess you can say we are jessie's tutors for the class. well, i guess you can say we are telling her what to do for the class. well, i guess you can say we are doing the class for her. well, i guess you can say that i'm doing the class by myself now. not complaining though. actually enjoying it...again. so i've been working on that all night and will prolly do the same tomorrow to get this done for her. you see, she decided to challenge us and start the class that normally takes 15 weeks to complete, with only like 5 weeks to go. karen is back in CO. good to have her safe and sound; home from the crazy europeans. if you happen to be rollin through boulder and see a fresh, silver jeep cherokee, with a skinny white dude in it, that would be my boy tommy cruisin in his new whip. pimp tom pimp! so yeah, been thinking about planet of the apes (the original of course) and wondering if i would want to jump a few thousand years (or maybe 20) into the future like taylor does. basically i'm saying, i can't wait to see how it all turns out. the firm, school, fam, friends, music, jobs, church, bratty kids, all that shiz. i want to bring up the topic of death and all that, but then everyone and their mom will start asking me questions about it all, so i'll just leave it alone. maybe another day. always another day. this was a rather point post i feel. oh well. night friends

whats another birthday? soon, you just stop counting 

just anotha day fo dre

can't wait to buy the dance game so i can sweat like a pig in the privacy of my own home. and i won't have creepy old guys hangin at the arcade watching me. so yeah, woke up at noon and spent the afternoon doing that with my sis-in-law. today was her b-day so that was cool. then went out to dinner with them and off to class. let me tell you why carolyn sucks as a teacher. now, our guest speaker that she used today because she doesn't want to actually teach the class was pretty cool. she on the other hand must have missed school the day they taught where the states are in the U.S. oh but wait, she's been "all over the world" so i guess she has no excuse to know that colorado is not southeast of utah and that arizona is next to cali, not new mexico. i shouldn't make fun of her though. after all, she is a big time fed lawyer now. i mean, writing memos is very difficult. anyways, i hate that class. i'm going crazy with my classes. not sure if i'm gonna make it through the summer. oh well. i do have to say, i thoroughly enjoyed talking with jess and mikey today. those kids always make me laugh and it was so nice to kinda get to know more about jessie kaye. funny cuz you think that we're all so different people who have so little in common, but come to learn that we are alike in more ways than i can even imagine. tomorrow we get to get that girl through her criminal law class. should be fun i think. people, we all need to open up more and be frank. lets all tell each other what we think or if we are having problems with someone. sometimes (well, most of the time) i feel like peeps are pissed at me. how do i know if they don't tell me? so here is my request to one and all, talk to me if you are pissed ok? we are all adults. thats all i have to say on that matter. k, got work tomorrow morning, nighty night children.

mike bustin a cap in an un-named annoying guy in class 

bloody bog!!!

wow, just got back from dance lessons at lyndsie's. most spontaneous thing the firm has done yet. after taking a freaking terrible quiz, we figured we should intrude upon lyndsie's apartment and neighbors and dance the night away while stuffing our faces with pizza. lets see, mike is getting good, jessie was rockin the house on doubles, and then lyndsie...ah yes, miss lyndsie. she was quite the feisty one tonight. i think she just couldn't control herself over my moves. hey ya know, it happens. i'm used to it. =) the rest of the day was kinda just the usual. work sucked, studying blew, was being moody during the firm's study time, and i was falling asleep in class. oh well. i'm so looking forward to being able to sleep in tomorrow until like noon. haven't decided if i'm gonna head to the mall to dance. i'm sure i'll see how sore i am tomorrow. well, time for a nice shower or bath, still haven't decided which. i'll just wing it. hey, it got me an 18/20 on today's quiz!!!

a playa, a gat, and a pimpin hat 

me bustin a cap in everyone 

i just want bang bang bang

guess i didn't miss the hot air balloons after all. so woke up nice and early to go shooting with mike. man did we have fun. the place we went was so nice...probably only the third beautiful thing i've seen in utah. we had a blast though. between the clay pigeons that just kept getting away and the bugs attacking me, won't soon forget this little outing. and yes, mike saved me multiple time from bugs that were like 6 inches long. they were, i promise!! had tons and tons of deep convos though which were fun. and mike, remember, bro's over hoe's k? after heading home, and he and i getting nothing accomplished in terms of homework, it was off to the mall to get my daily fix of pump it up! i'm getting good, i think. hard to tell though. need the "pro" to square off against so i can see how good i'm getting. soon it'll be off to bed cuz the real week starts tomorrow. work, then homework, then studying, then quizzes, then repeat. on and on. by the way, i think karen hates me again. she hasn't emailed me back in a while. well its okay, cuz i don't hate you. finally, just gotta give a shout out to my mom...love you. i'm out.

this mornings surpirse 

ooooo, ahhhh 

chances last a finite time, in the warm july nighttime

so yeah, didn't quite make it up in the morning. maybe next year i'll get up before noon. had quite the talk with lyndsie lohan. found out that she is not down with lunch. that sucks cuz i'll tell you what, lunch rules!!! she doesn't know what she is missing. =) and oh yeah, spent a little bling at the arcade yesterday on my new favorite thing. i'm gonna be the best dancer on that dance machine which i don't know the name of and can't think of a clever sentence to write. betta watch out jessie katsopolis! i'm becoming proficient in the beethoven and vivoldi ones. and yes, the swing baby song is awesome. except i was doing it on easy, but its still fun. and oh yes, dodgeball. saw that yesterday and despite the fact that some contend my taste in movies plain suck, i thought it was hilarious! the cameos by everyone and their mom in this movie made it awesome. my only complaint is the stupid bi-sexual joke at the end. it could have been funny, but they just didn't play it out right. anyways, its not a classic comedy, but definitely a must see! so quit your crying melchior, i liked it. =) lastly we headed out to the usual fireworks spot. i've seen better fireworks when i shoot my .22, but it was fun cuz mike and all his ancestors dating back a thousand years were there. i hope i didn't embarrass him in front of everyone when i took him down. sorry if i did, but you know what happens when you mess with the madness of e propa!!! biotch! you would have loved to have seen it jess. hey, i heard some disturbing news about mr. roy coon. anyone wanna back this up? k, i'm out at work now, gotta start watching movies...=\/\/=

blah bl blah bl blah blah, i'm a toys-r-us kid

well, another crappy friday come and go. worked most of the day, in fact i'm still here. writing this in between the officers pulling over everyone and their mom tonight. tomorrow is utah's 4th of july since this year's 4th falls on a sunday. hopefully gonna wake up and take some early morning pics of the festivities. we'll see though. mornings and ethan usually means trouble. got my tv back today. thank you L. we've all got so much homework its rediculous. i feel bad cuz most of the reading for all of the classes suck pretty bad and we are falling behind kinda fast. talking to my sis today about growing up, finding that one special person, so on and so forth. the girl is so young and has so many years ahead. i hope she realizes that and makes the best of what she's got. i look back and wonder where it all went. now don't get me wrong, not complaining (too much) about life now. but these days i try so hard to stay young and keep those years, however it seems to be to no avail. man, i'm quite the complainer. could be worse, i could be brando right now. sad day by the way. STELLLLLAAAA!!! anyone else see that movie besides me? please tell me yes. actually, you get a gold star if anyone has seen more than 1 of his movies...or can you even name more than 1 of his movies?? come on, anyone? do you even know who i'm talking about? maybe tom could, but i'm sure he could care less about reading any of this. man, you guys are missin out on great flicks. i'm out, everyone in utah have a great 3rd of july. i'll be lighting up on the 4th (no jessie, not that kind of lighting up)

elder brazil taking all our play, literally and figuratively...as jess watches on 

you are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only nineteen 

this isn't line dancing mike 

you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...

holy cow that dance machine is fun. such the workout. i'll be buyin this as soon as i can. even got the missionaries in on it with elder brazilian professional dancer showin us all up. and how could we even go to class after all that? but we did and i barely made it through without falling asleep. last night was another restless night, totaling about 3 hours of full sleep. but then something happened after class that neither i or mike could explain, so don't expect anything juicy as you read on, cuz we don't know what it really was. we both just kinda felt something, unsatisfaction maybe? your guess is as good as mine. we just didn't leave the day thinking, "man this was the best day of our lives." maybe it was elder brazil stealing all our play, who knows? not sure if we've ever felt satisfied after a law firm meeting. i'm just rambling and have no idea where i'm going with this. and geez, okay, all guys listen up. don't ever offer your manly tv to a girl who is alone with her teeny tiny tv so that she can watch movies or whatever. sure, its a nice gesture, but it will just backfire causing stress levels to rise and embarrassment to set in. so don't worry fabulous fowkes, i'll be prolly picking that up soon. and finally, kim's sister is coming to town. i'm all for it, but i'm just so tired and it also means my computer room is basically gone for a week. grrr. oh well, i'm sure we'll have fun. point for jessie for the fun day. point for mike for being mike. minus one point from lyndsie for not accepting kind offers and doubting my mad computer skillz, but two points for her for putting up with my wacky antics...tally it all up and the results.....i'm losing! hey! what do you know?

yo today was stoopid fresh!!!!

wow, what a day! mike and i had a freaking blast buying this and that. class was the funnest i've ever had, even though the firm wasn't complete. almost felt like the good old days. tomorrow will be ever better though at lyndsie lohan's place. i bought boondock saints on dvd, which everyone should be running out to buy! and the ataris and the cure on cd. we even had a party in class with some chips and dip man. and funions. and a whole lot of water. can't even tell you how bad the class would have sucked if i didn't have that six pack of..be..soooda. =) and mad props to kim tonight! she gets a gold star. looks like my bro ryan didn't get his drumline into nationals. let me tell you this though, those freaking kids would have owned that little competition! sorry bud, maybe another time. anyways my children, i'm out. as Mr. LJ would say, GNSTDLTBBB.